I’ve got a full stomach, but an empty heart
And that empty heart makes it seem like every part of me
Is just as empty
So I’m sure it doesn’t matter if I’m hungry, well fed or dead,
I’m still walking like a zombie with a heart like a vault made of lead
I’ve got my almost empty wallet in my almost empty pocket,
But even when I’ve got it all it doesn’t make me feel any better.
I’ve always got enough to eat
But it doesn’t make the edges of this empty space in me meet
Ask me what’s in my wallet and I’ll tell you,
it sure isn’t my joy.
When I was a young man, I was told to learn the law,
But every letter I saw
Twisted itself to spell out all the things I’d done wrong
I’m used to lying cheating and stealing
Mostly chasing after a feeling
Because all my life I’ve been looking for a way to feel alive.
So the word reveals the sin on my palms
I try to hang out in Psalms
But now that I know that I’m guilty
Even sweet songs and poems just remind me there’s a price on my head.
Feeling like everyone, especially God, wants me dead.
So I rub my hands raw
Trying to get the guilt off
But I know the only way to get rid of my sin
Is to scrub until I’m completely gone.
So I look to the heavens and scream
God if this is true
My only options to cope are to not believe in you
Or take the death I deserve
And I do,
But that’s something you already knew.
You gave a double edged sword
And it matters on who’s holding it, God or the twisted prince of this world
Whether it’s the knife used to stab you in the back
Or the scalpel that cuts away dead flesh to bring life
Religion sets the holy standard, but gives you no way to reach it
Gives the blueprints for the good life, but nothing with which to build it,
Religion commands you to be righteous
But then starves you of light
Binds your hands behind your back
Tells you to live!
And then leaves you to die,
But You don’t.
See, I was born outside of Your house in winter,
Raised in sin, with no right to enter in.
I didn’t choose to be an orphan, but that was my lot,
Didn’t want to be Your stranger, but that’s what I got.
It’s in my blood,
Rebellion, coursing through my veins,
And I knew all about the pains of battle,
Because I was my own worst enemy.
If ever I tripped, I never had to look to see who set the snare,
I knew it was me.
Or should I say, that was the old me.
I was doubled over in defeat,
Just like the every other time before,
And you came to me and said I didn’t have to fight to survive
I looked up, but then around,
Scared to death that I’d be found
Caught off guard,
Knowing that myself was never to far,
And I’d hate for you to see my shame.
But then again, that’s why you came.
I told You You were crazy,
You told me that you made me
In Your image,
I told You You were wrong,
You told me that all along,
You always had a plan for me,
And on and on
We wrestled til the morning,
Until my hip popped and it dawned on me
That you were only ever trying to embrace me,
Trying to change me,
Trying to save me
And you said pick up your sword,
And study war no more.
And you showed me Your scars
And they spelled out receipts
For victory and peace,
And I reached for my wallet, but you stopped me and said,
There’s no fee.
This one’s on me.
You bring light in my darkness
You bring joy through life’s hardness
You bring strength in my weakness
You saw me in my depravity
And you came to me
Came to save me
And make me worthy
Made a way for me to be what I was made to be
Be where I was made to be
I am Yours
I am made to be with You
And You came through
In a way that all the religion and laws never do
When you tell me to live
And I need food and drink,
You’re the one who came to give it to me
You are bread,
You are wine,
I will eat
I will drink
I am yours
And you are mine
I will live
For You are life
You are life